#conspiretothrive #spring #crocus #flowers

My partner gave me a camera and I'm playing with it now that the weather is warmer. 📷☀️❤️ #conspiretothrive

I'm calling this whole process "coaching," and there is more to it. Here's a bit about the "more." #conspiretothrive #coaching #crystallineconsciousness #traumaawareness #traumainformed #contextmatters #culturematters

Pay what you can ($20, $30, or $50) for a coaching session with me. Booking link in bio. #conspiretothrive #coaching

Context Matters, Part II I will be talking about systemic oppression and liberation work more often. This is a growth edge for me, and it is also a vital part of who I am becoming and the foundation of my work in the world. Once you begin to see the fractals, you can't unsee them. There are strong resonances between how abusive individuals and abusive power structures operate. There are strong resonances between how individuals heal and free themselves, and how communities heal and free themselves. Being able to see the abuse and the theft of power for what they are on every level of our shared existence is a vital step to reclaiming our individual and collective power and hope. Whatever you do to heal and reclaim your own power is connected to liberation work everywhere. When you begin to understand that in your body, it is only natural to act as though we are all in this together--because we are. #conspiretothrive #contextmatters #fractals #inittogether

Humans love stories. We love stories so much that our brains make them up when we aren't looking! Sometimes those stories are helpful, but a lot of times, they're actually harmful. Stories like... "I'm so stupid." "I'm too fat/skinny/old/young/different." "Everyone hates me." "If only..." "I'm so bad at..." "I have nothing valuable to say or offer." "Being vulnerable/authentic/powerful/honest is always dangerous." Those unhelpful stories usually aren't even yours! They come from messages from other people or the culture, which you internalized in an attempt to survive, cope, and understand yourself. You don't have to keep believing any thoughts that don't serve you. However, changing habitual thoughts takes time, just like changing habitual behaviors does. Focus on noticing and naming your unhelpful thoughts, then tune in to how your body responds to those thoughts. Your body may feel nauseous, tense, hot/cold, agitated, or other signs that something isn't right. Your body is telling you that the thought you're having isn't serving your best interests and values! Practice holding your thoughts lightly, noticing that you are the observer of your thoughts (you are not your thoughts), and learning to trust your body. #conspiretothrive #youarenotyourthoughts #trustyourbody #stories #notice

Context Matters We became human in context: as a vital part of the natural world, with relationships with the earth, other living beings, and each other. Now we (if you're reading this, most likely you're included) live in a culture that is built to keep us separated from the earth, other-than-human people, and each other. One of the things I have found so helpful over the years (even when it's been a cold comfort) is to remember what context I'm operating in and how it's affecting me and my loved ones. Of course parenting is hard. I don't have a village, and the social safety net has giant holes in it. Of course I'm struggling to believe in myself. I was raised by someone who saw my confidence as a threat, and I internalized that. Of course it's taking time to heal and figure out how to "adult." I effectively had to start parenting myself from scratch at 18. Now I'm 37, and nobody expects 19 year olds to be fully self-sufficient. This is not an excuse. It's a reason to be gentle with yourself and others, even while you continue to tend whatever you need to tend. It's the reason why things being hard doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. You're good, you're just trying to survive in a hostile context. And you and your loved ones can make the context better. #conspiretothrive #contextmatters

A year of support for you... New Year’s Day is just a date on the calendar, and it’s one of many days that prompts us to consider how we want to live differently in the coming year. Setting resolutions works really well for some, yet for others, resolutions become a stick to beat themselves with. For others, making resolutions at the New Year might seem pointless or nonsensical. As an alternative or addition to New Year’s resolutions, I’d like to offer one of the energy work tools I’ve learned how to use. They’re called “birthday charts,” but they can be done at any time that is meaningful to you, including the New Year. In short, you decide what your intentions are for the year and share them with me via a Google Form, then I set up the chart (an energetic container) to support your intentions. That container remains active for a whole year, allowing you to co-create your intentions with the universe. This is different from resolutions because resolutions are usually focused on goals or habits; intentions are focused on the experience you want to have. There are many different ways of doing energy work. The one I’m using is called Crystalline Consciousness TechniqueTM (CCT), and I’ve been studying/practicing/playing with it for about two years. It’s a way of communicating and collaborating with the universe (the “something bigger than ourselves,” whatever you choose to call it) to create and support transformation in your life. One of the things I love about using CCT is that it makes things easier. I still have challenges, but the obstacles aren’t as overwhelming and they don’t phase me as much. Another thing I love is the sense that I’m not alone since I’m working with the universe. I still have to take action to support my transformation, but when I’m working with the universe, I don’t have to grind away at it or do alllllll the heavy lifting myself. Sometimes I’m surprised by what the universe serves up–it’s often better than how I imagined things going! Life has been a lot for the last few years, and every sign points to that trend continuing. If you’d like more support and ease this year in the form of a birthday chart, I’d be honored. Link in bio.

CW: genocide, antisemitism I've been trying to write a post for weeks now. I thought about "showing my work" and writing about my inner process of decolonization to normalize it, but I can't wait to say something until I'm satisfied with that writing. I didn't know about the genocide. There are a bunch of reasons for that, and I know I'm far from the only one. But I know now. I also know it requires clarity to speak up, because two apparently contradictory things are true at the same time, and humans are easily tripped up by paradox. 1: Israel is commiting colonization and genocide against Palestinians, supported by the US. 2: Antisemitism is on the rise around the world, and has been for some time. I support immediate ceasefire and Palestinian liberation without qualification. Killing Palestinian people does not make anyone safer. It endangers all of us. I support the right of Jewish people everywhere to live free from oppression. I condemn antisemitism without qualification. I do not support Israel's occupation of Palestine. There is nothing that gives anyone the right to take someone else's home by force. I encourage everyone to watch the documentary film @israelismfilm which addresses the indoctrination of Jewish Americans about Israel, the occupation and genocide, and the rise of antisemitism. They are currently doing a series of free screenings, which you can sign up for on their website, or follow on social media for future dates.

Love is dangerous. People who are skilled at love are difficult to manipulate and take advantage of. They will not respond to attempts to shame and bully them. They will not allow their identity and lifestyle to be subsumed by the roles assigned to us by this culture/economy: worker, consumer, or drain on society. History shows us that it's possible to break the bonds of healthy, loving communities and cultures... and also that it's possible for people to maintain or reforge those bonds and reclaim or recreate their communities and cultures. The current powers that be do not want us to develop the skill of love, because more than anything else love is what enables us to break free of exploitation and create the communities, economies, cultures, and lives we want. Yet we're living in a time when this is exactly what is happening. Anything you do to become more skilled at love will bring you more fulfillment through relationships and communities, which means more mutual support with the people around you, which means less of a need to work ridiculous jobs for unlivable wages and less of a need to buy your entertainment, status, sense of belonging, or survival. Learning to love may look and feel like a personal act, but with so many of us practicing this skill, we're turning the tide of history. #conspiretothrive #love #loveisaskill #learntolove #listen #hope #connection #relationship #community #communitycare #life #friends #trauma #healing #support #kindness #giving #receiving

Love is a skill. Learning to love is like learning to talk. That is not all that love is. I am not reducing and confining love to being only a skill. Love is so much more than that, some of which we've defined and much of which escapes human comprehension. But love IS a skill. It's something we can learn and practice. We have an innate inclination towards love as a skill, just like we do for language. Just like when we learn to talk, when we learn to love we naturally start speaking the language our caregivers are speaking. But if our caregivers aren't speaking the language of love, we can't learn to use the skills, just like we can't naturally learn a language we're not exposed to. Later in life, if we want to speak another language, we need to seek out exposure and instruction. When something other than love (control? apathy? power? neglect?) is your first language, learning a new language does involve effort and repetition to create new neural pathways. The good news is that we can learn the skills of love at any age and stage of development. There is no expiration date and no decline in our natural abilities and inclinations. Some of the skills involved in love include: Paying attention Listening Patience Enjoyment Accepting Discernment Knowing that you're worthy Knowing that the other is worthy Engaging in conflict respectfully and safely (This is not a complete list) The powers that be don't want us to know this, for reasons I'll address in my next post. #conspiretothrive #love #loveisaskill #learntolove #listen #hope #connection #relationship #community #communitycare #life #friends #trauma #healing #support #kindness #giving #receiving

I encountered two different stories recently that are part of a larger pattern. The first story is about Jill Duggar Dillard. Jill recently published a book, which I have not read, but I've watched several interview clips of her discussing the book. This is a story of someone who is getting out of the hellhole that was her childhood, recovering from trauma, learning a new worldview, finding her own voice, and claiming her power and her identity. I find her story very relatable. The second story is about Jessica McCabe, of the How to ADHD YouTube channel. She's also written a book, scheduled for publication in January 2024. In a video discussing her writing process, Jessica talked about, "...the internalized ableism of, like, 'I'm wrong for not being able to do this, I should be able to do this,'... to learning how to recognize those invisible obstacles... know how to navigate them... let go of a lot of the shame, the misunderstanding, the stigma... and be able to be functional as a human, like, be able to go and live a life in line with my values, one that I enjoy, and be able to be effective in the world. ... I am so empowered now." I could have said all of that about having CPTSD and trauma recovery. Here is the pattern: we are a generation of cycle-breakers. I gave public examples, but there are many similar stories among my friends and peers. I have so much hope for the world because we are not just crushed under our challenges and/or trauma like our parents before us. We're healing ourselves and raising our children differently. It might not be the political revolution many of us would like to see, but it is absolutely a cultural (r)evolution that will inevitably change politics and government as well. Whatever you're doing to break the cycles in your life and family, your individual work and what you do with your close family and friends IS part of this larger cultural shift. I'm proud of you. #conspiretothrive  #listen #coaching #holdingspace #relationship #love #askforhelp #kindness #connection #trauma #healing #reachout #supporteachother #support #communitycare #community #breakingthecycle #peopleneedpeople #yourenotalone

We are having a collective experience of isolation. So many of us feel alone, even when surrounded by others. And we don't just feel alone, we worry that something is wrong with us. We worry that we're uniquely bad, wrong, or broken. We wonder why everyone else seems to have it together, but not us. When you have deep conversations with people, you'll almost inevitably hear these things. At some point, I started to think... Huh. Maybe I'm not alone. Eventually it dawned on me that this experience must be coming from somewhere outside each of us, because we can't all be wrong, bad, or broken. We're almost all hurt, in various ways. It's the wounding and the apathy or hostility we encounter while wounded that makes us feel alone. The wounding, apathy, and hostility come from the people who hurt us or failed to protect us, but that, too, is happening on such a broad scale that it simply does not make sense to look at it as primarily or only an individual experience. This is a cultural experience. However daunting it seems to revamp an entire culture, we're already doing it. It's already happening. I'll write about that shift in my next post. #conspiretothrive #listen #coaching #holdingspace #relationship #life #lifeismessy #dontgoalone #friends #love #askforhelp #kindness #giving #receiving #connection #somethingtolearnsomethingtoshare #trauma #healing #reachout #whatdoyouoffer #supporteachother #support #crisis #survivalmode #communitycare #community #hugs #why #breakingthecycle #peopleneedpeople

Last weekend my partner and I ate dinner at @littleyardfarm I'm not here to talk about the beautiful greenhouse (pictured) or the delicious food (the butternut squash curry with apple chutney had the most interesting and complex flavor profile of anything I've ever eaten, the brined chicken and braised potatoes were done to perfection, and everything was amazing). Also, I don't have more pictures because I left my phone in the car on purpose. The whole experience was grounded, real, and vibrant from start to finish. This is a slice of the rural life I remember from childhood. There are turkeys, pigs, a very friendly and chill cat, a couple adorable special needs dogs... and an area of the yard you don't want to step in. The house is cozy and lived-in, and no they didn't clean it from top to bottom because people are coming over. The kitchen where Laura works her culinary magic is tiny. But Laura and her family aren't just working culinary and agricultural magic. This is the magic of seeing the beauty in daily life and enhancing it without pretending that it's anything else. It's the magic of knowing that who you are, where you are, and what you do is enough. This quiet, grounded confidence becomes an invitation to know that you, too, are enough. The whole experience said, "We're all in this together and I'm glad you're here."  Thank you, Laura. I'm glad you're here too. 💜 (Fourth pic by @francistripopoli) #conspiretothrive #greenhousegatherings #littleyardfarm #thisissempronius #worththetrip #fingerlakesfoodie #fingerlakes #bearswamp #skaneateles #owasco #sempronius #localfood #farmtotable #eatlocal #eatwithfriends #eatforjoy

I've put so much effort and time into understanding people, learning how to listen and communicate, figuring out how to hurt less and help others hurt less, and learning how to recognize and create healthy relationships. But why? Not to be able to say, "I did it." Not only to be in less pain and help others be in less pain. That's important, but it's not the big why. I do this so that I and the people I help have the skills and capacity to be in healthy, sustainable relationships and community. That "why" was always there, but I couldn't see it clearly through my own pain. We humans need each other. But what happens when we're so wounded by the people who were supposed to love, cherish, and protect us and/or by the dominant culture that we can't be with each other safely and effectively? What happens when the love and connection we need to thrive keeps slipping through our fingers? Our wounds drive us apart no matter how tight we try to hold on. Attempts to build community crumble despite everyone's best intentions and efforts. And the need for love and connection is still with us. We're each left standing alone, holding that empty bag, wondering if that's all we'll ever have. I do what I do so that we can break that cycle. We're not just breaking it for ourselves and our families, but for all of us. And as we heal and grow, we're healing and growing our relationships and communities too. We start to believe in our own worthiness and that love doesn't have to hurt. We learn how to walk away from the people who are only interested in perpetuating the vicious cycle. We develop the capacity to hold onto the love we receive, and the capacity to love others without losing ourselves. Instead of throwing relationships away or helplessly watching them fray and tatter due to conflict, we learn how to repair them. None of this is fantasy, although I know it feels that way when you're deeply wounded. Healing is always a longer journey than we'd like, and it's always worth it. #conspiretothrive #listen #coaching #relationship #communitycare #community #why #breakingthecycle #peopleneedpeople #healing #connection #support

When I was 8 or so, I wanted to sew a dress for a doll. I found a scrap of fabric, cut out a dress shape, and sat down to hand sew the pieces together. A few stitches in, I got frustrated. "This is going to take forever! How about I make bigger stitches?" My next stitch was probably half the length of the dress. "Now I'm getting somewhere!" I was not actually getting anywhere at all. A giant stitch means that all the fabric between where the thread passes through isn't held together by anything at all and can gape open at any moment. I often feel the impulse to make a grand gesture or major change, usually ASAP. But there's nothing to build on and nothing to stitch it into the rest of my life. Major changes that break continuity are simply not going to stick. This goes for relationships too. Strong, healthy, sustainable relationships are created one stitch at a time. Sometimes things break, and the breaking can happen quickly; that's not what I'm talking about. Sometimes things seem to pop up overnight like mushrooms, but if you look closely there was something under the surface all along. Often, we need to live our lives one stitch at a time. (Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash.) #conspiretothrive #listen #coaching #holdingspace #relationship #life #lifeismessy #dontgoalone #friends #love #askforhelp #kindness #giving #receiving #connection #somethingtolearnsomethingtoshare #trauma #healing #reachout #whatdoyouoffer #supporteachother #support #communitycare #community #onestitchatatime #patience #slowandsteady #unsplash

I read about language and the mysterious appearance of mushrooms last night, then found this large one in the yard this morning. The following quote is from Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer, page 49. "My first taste of the missing language was the word 'Puhpowee' on my tongue. I stumbled upon it in a book by the Anishinaabe ethnobotanist Keewaydinoquay, in a treatise on the traditional uses of fungi by our people. 'Puhpowee,' she explained, translates as 'the force which causes mushrooms to push up from the earth overnight.' As a biologist, I was stunned that such a word existed... You'd think that biologists, of all people, would have words for life. ... In the three syllables of this new word I could see an entire process of close observation in the damp morning woods, the formulation of a theory for which English has no equivalent. The makers of this word understood a world full of being, full of unseen energies that animate everything." #conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #summer #mushroom #fungi #fungus #braidingsweetgrass

Tom lost some tail feathers fighting off a fox a while back. #nofear #conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #summer #turkey #poultry #farm

#conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #summer #milkweed #horse #pasture

Those clouds today! #conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #summer #sky #clouds #cloudsoverithaca #cloudscape

Those clouds today! #conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #summer #sky #clouds #cloudsoverithaca #cloudscape

Solstice sunset. #conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #summer #sunset #sunsetphotography #summersolstice #clouds #cloudsoverithaca #barn

Solstice sunrise. #conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #summer #sunrise #sunrisephotography #summersolstice #clouds #cloudsoverithaca

Solstice sunrise. #conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #summer #sunrise #sunrisephotography #summersolstice

Sometimes we do have to clean up messes (literal and metaphorical) on our own. Yet how much easier is it to clean up messes when we do it together? I know that collaboration and asking for help is scary for many people, myself included. There are many good reasons for that, starting with our cultural expectation of hyper-individualism. And yet... There's nothing like knowing you're not alone. Have you experienced the relief of finally getting help with a mess in your life? How can we normalize collaboration, shared responsibility, and teamwork? #conspiretothrive #listen #coaching #holdingspace #relationship #life #lifeismessy #dontgoalone #friends #love #askforhelp #kindness #giving #receiving #connection #somethingtolearnsomethingtoshare #trauma #healing #reachout #whatdoyouoffer #supporteachother #support #crisis #survivalmode #communitycare #community #hugs

I haven't been this close to the shagbark hickory for a while, so I didn't realize it is a sensitive time for the birds in the nesting boxes. I got a couple photos as I left, and will leave them alone until the babies fledge. Check out @beingatsunrise for more. #conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #spring #birds #nestingbox #birdbox #shagbarkhickory #sunrisephotography #sunrise #hayfield #beingatsunrise

#conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #spring #shagbarkhickory #grass #sun #sunrise #sunrisephotography #dew #hayfield

This really captured the apocalyptic feel this morning. I'm glad the robin was there too. #conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #spring #wildfiresmoke #cemetery #cloudsoverithaca #robin

Who knew it would be the eerie, wildfire smoke-filled atmosphere that would inspire me even more than the beautiful sunny spring we've been having? #conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #spring #wildfiresmoke #shagbarkhickory #hills #cloudsoverithaca

Sunshine and rain. #conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #spring #sun #rain #clouds

The things you see when you keep your eyes open... #conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #winter #snow #sunset #cinnamonrolls

Cemetery sledding. #conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #winter #cemetery #snow #sledding #trees

#conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #winter #snow #barn #bluebird #sky

#conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #winter #snow #farmhouse #bnb

Sled tracks. #conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #winter #snow #sledding

Fire and Ice. #conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #winter #snow #sunrise #sunrisephotography #clouds #farm

Experimenting with night photography. #conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #winter #nightphotography #snow

#conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #winter #sunrise #cloudsoverithaca

#conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #winter #sunrise #cloudsoverithaca

Frosted mega wheats #conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #winter #snow

#conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #winter #snow

#conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #winter #snow #evergreen

#conspiretothrive #photography #fingerlakes #rural #naturephotography #landscapephotography #winter #snow #evergreen